I think my dad molested me...?

This is really embarrassing, but I can't sleep because I keep thinking about it. I’m almost 17 and have had issues with my dad my whole life... to the point where I almost killed myself (I left the house, so now I’m safe). I always had this memory of him when I was five, where he was kneeling between my legs and took off my clothes, and started touching my genitals... (It was at night, and NO he was not changing me) He used to always made sexual comments, saying I’m gay (I’m straight) I’m going to get pregnant at 16 (Makes no sense whatsoever since I’m "gay" to him) and he would tell me how he had sex with my mom, and his ex wife and his girlfriends. Even one story of him raping a girl in an orphanage (Wth? I know, it sounded weird to me) I am 100% positive I was molested; I just have doubt if it was him… I don’t want to believe it, because it would be horrible if true… I don’t know, I feel like I should forget it.